Taking an energy reading and tracking course and my homework seemed appropriate for sharing out loud.
Some attachments that I’m carrying and the ones I’m learning to set down.
When I speak of attachment, it is not in the abstract, spiritual bypass kind of way, but in the very real, human sense of what I hold tightly, what holds me back, and what simply need to be held more lightly.
This isn’t a list of things I’m proud of or ashamed of–it’s honest inventory. It feels very peaceful to pause and notice what I’m carrying.
ATTACHMENTS
I am attached to my husband, my partner in building a life that doesn’t always make sense, but feels deeply ours, and I have significant pride in how much we have “accomplished” together.
I am attached to our puppies, who remind me daily that presence is a practice and love doesn’t require words.
I am attached to our home, a chalet in the mountains at 8,000 feet. I love the quiet, the cold mornings, the jacuzzi that softens the edges of waking up, and the absurd fifty-five plus plant babies that somehow thrive despite the altitude, lack of moisture, and my imperfect care.
I am attached to my role as Co-Founder and CEO of Maven. Not just the title, but the unspoken obligation to be an “I know what I’m doing” leader. The emotional stabilizer. The one who can hold uncertainly and safe spaces so others don’t have to. I care deeply about my team and my community, and that care sometimes turns into a responsibility I carry silently.
I am attached to my curly hair, which sounds small until it isn’t. It took me a long time to love it. Now I’m flirting with the idea of shaving my head, just once, to prove it doesn’t matter, but I’m scared. Because it apparently does matter. And I think that’s because loving something and letting it go aren’t opposites, they’re neighbors.
RELEASING
I am working to release resentment and judgment towards my family, particularly my brother. I’m learning to forgive them–and myself–for the ways we’ve hurt each other. Not to erase the past, but to make room for something new to grow.
I want to let go of adjusting my pace to match other people’s urgency. The pressure to rush because others are rushing. The belief that I can manage or change someone else’s emotions or actions. I’m practicing surrender–to what is outside my control, and to the peace that comes from tending only what is within it.
I’m releasing the idea that love should be free of conflict. That one day it will all smooth out. I’m replacing it with something truer: conflict doesn’t disappear. What matters if how I meet it and how I stay present, accountable, and compassionate when it arises.
I am loosening my grip on my ego when it insists I be a master instead of a student, especially when it demands external affirmation as proof that my efforts matter. I want to learn without needing applause.
EXAMINATIONS
My online persona sometimes gives my pause. I worry about whether my participation is genuine or performative. I don’t fully understand how this space is meant to work, so I’m allowing curiosity instead of judgment here.
When I don’t take care of myself, I notice an old habit resurface: resource guarding. Time. Money. Energy. Focus. I don’t live here often anymore, but I stay aware of it–because scarcity thinking has a quiet way of sneaking back in when I’m depleted.
I’m also questioning my need to understand something before I allow myself to feel it. I’m learning that feeling doesn’t always require explanation. Sometimes the feeling is the information.
And finally, I’m softening my attachment to the belief that every season must teach me something immediately. Some moments aren’t lessons. They’re just experiences meant to be lived, not translated.
I know that the philosophical goal is to live unattached, but I’m not sure that interests me at the moment. I think my current goal is to notice what we’re holding, and decide, again and again, how tightly it deserves to be held.
If nothing else, this is my reminder:
I am allowed to carry what I love.
I am allowed to set things down.
And I am allowed to take my time doing both.
